As with just about every holiday…..I am always aware of those that celebrate (face) them alone, or in circumstances that rarely make it to a Hallmark card.
Holidays can be hard when everyone else around you is experiencing the picture-perfect moments and you are not, for whatever reason.
I know, I was alone.
When Glenn and I met, I had been a single, unwed mother for six years. Those years were some of the loneliest I had ever been. Always a third or fifth wheel, watching others walk away to go home together at the end of the night. It was hard.
There were a couple of things that I knew though, that kept me putting one foot in front of the other and weathering the disappointment and despair.
- God took care of me in tender and timely ways. He promised to be a husband to the widow (person alone) and a father to the fatherless. We were in good hands, even when it didn’t always feel like it was enough.
- I learned to be content in whatever circumstance I found myself, knowing that there were both drawbacks and benefits in both being alone and in a relationship. So trust and contentment in whatever I faced, became a priority.
- It was better to be alone, than to be with the wrong person. .
I knew. I had done that
That doesn’t mean it was easy, but it was good. I learned a lot about myself, I learned to value myself, and I learned to focus on what I did have, not on what I didn’t.
I had, and still do have, an amazing family; parents that loved me, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents that always supported and encouraged me, no matter what.
I had friends…..friends that listened to me when I whined, held me when I cried – even cried with me at times, and when happiness came, they celebrated too!
So today, if you can, focus on the relationships you DO have. And if you have none, know that there is One.
Know your worth and value. You are strong, you ARE loveable, YOU are a masterpiece and someone needs you in their lives.
Do something for you, whatever that may be. A hot bubble bath with flower petals, candles, and wine, order out or cook yourself an amazing meal, take a long, leisurely stroll, see a movie…..maybe invite someone else who celebrates alone to join you (maybe not in the bath, though 🙂 ).
Whatever you do, do not fall into the trap of self-pity and self-loathing. Live YOUR life and live it well. Hold your head high and walk tall! Be your best self – for you first, and to prepare for whatever may lay ahead.
Reach out…..someone else is lonely too and you could brighten their day. I will be forever grateful for those who included me, and for the One who loved me enough to bring me His best.
There can be happy endings, but there is no such thing as fairy tales.